got feedback?

Jul 14

Be careful what you wish for

Feedback … the one thing everyone wants, but few people can actually handle. It has become the latest “cure-all” to drive performance in the corporate world. Nearly every day, another organization (e.g. Deloitte, IBM, GE, Microsoft, etc.) moves away from structured performance reviews to frequent development conversations focused on feedback. Don’t get me wrong; I think it is a great idea to shift the conversation from past performance to forward looking discussions about potential. And I think feedback given the right way at the right time can be extremely powerful. But, in reality, it is much harder to give and receive quality feedback, especially in today’s hectic and demanding work environment. That’s why I think HR has a unique opportunity to to ensure feedback is an important employee development tool within an organization.

Get to neutral ground

In my early days as a manager, I used to get very anxious about giving feedback. I would stew on it for days; evaluate what would happen if I didn’t give it and finally somehow manage to have a very uncomfortable conversation. But it wasn’t just me; I noticed the receiver was also sweating bullets before I even started. Why? No matter how thick your skin is – it is hard to hear there are things we could have done better or fundamental things we need to change.

So I started to wonder, how could I make this process easier for both the giver and the receiver of feedback? And over time, I realized that when I used a standard approach to give feedback to my team, the anxiety seemed to reduce on both sides as we both knew what to expect during the conversation. That’s why I think HR should design a common approach to providing feedback in an organization. When everyone in the organization has the same approach, you reduce the anxiety that builds up. Think about it this way – some of the anxiety around feedback is that two people participating in the conversation rarely know what direction it will go. But a common approach organizes the discussion and creates shared expectations. The receiver will know how the giver will start the conversation, how the conversation will generally transpire, and when the receiver will have an opportunity to respond. For example: the giver starts by stating her intentions, providing some facts—maybe providing a similar situation she has faced and how she overcame it (only if relevant)—and then gives the receiver the opportunity to fill in any gaps, ask questions, or work through it with the giver. You would be surprised, but just following a simple pattern makes both the giver and receiver less anxious about the conversation.

Prepare to be … prepared

In my experience, one of the biggest mistakes a person can make when giving feedback is failing to prepare. Even with a common approach, giving feedback is a unique experience each and every time. While we may get better at formulating our thoughts, we can never be experts at giving feedback. That’s why I think HR needs to teach every employee to prepare to give feedback.

So, how do they do this? The giver really needs to think through the content and ensure the feedback is something the receiver can respond to, recognize, and act upon. HR has an opportunity to create a series of questions like the ones below to help givers think through the feedback to make sure it is meaningful and relevant:

How is the person’s performance limited today and how will this feedback improve it?
Is it possible that you may be missing some context? (Even if this is a no – the giver should always be prepared to actively listen when the receiver responds to ensure she has the full context).
What are the specific examples you are going to provide to support the feedback? Would others agree that these examples limited the person’s performance or potential?
Have you faced similar situations? Are there any examples you can share that may make her understand the situation in more detail or help her think through actions she can take?

The key here is to create questions that ensure the giver has thoughtful and relevant feedback. HR should ensure the preparation guidelines are simple, yet still effective.

The missing piece

I don’t know about you, but I can’t think of a time when I was trained on how to receive feedback or a performance review and take action upon it to improve. Training always tends to focus on the giving side – how to give feedback or how to give a performance review. I find this really strange because it’s all wasted effort if the receiver doesn’t know how to react to it. There is this underlying assumption that either you can handle and act upon feedback or you can’t. If you can, you will grow; if you can’t, you will stagnate. This seems unfair, which is why I think HR has a unique opportunity to train the organization on how to receive and respond to feedback.

This training should focus on shifting the employee’s mindset. First, it should cast feedback as a learning opportunity. Think about it: performance evaluations were never seen this way. What if a performance evaluation was a learning tool (rather than a means to assign rewards) and everyone was trained to use it that way? Could they have been more effective?

But I digress … that ship has sailed.

The reality here is that employees will start to embrace feedback when they understand its intent – to help employees figure out the things that are preventing them from achieving their potential. The training should emphasize that receiving feedback is a sign of respect. If someone took the time to give you feedback, it’s because she cares about your development and growth in the organization.

In addition to viewing it as a learning opportunity, the training should help employees learn how to de-personalize and act upon feedback by separating themselves from the behaviors being discussed. While you can’t change who you are as a person, you can change your behavior to reach your full potential. And feedback is one of the ways you understand what actions you need to take to continue to develop and grow within the organization.

Tell it like it is

Feedback can be a very powerful tool. I have given a few thoughts here but I would love to hear your … wait for it … feedback in the comments sections below. I think this is an interesting topic that will generate good discussion as organizations continue to embrace this new “cure-all”.